So I first have to start this blog by saying how overwhelmed Michael and I have felt with the outpouring of love, joy, and pure excitement over our news a couple of weeks ago! We are truly blessed to have some of the most incredible friends, family, and yes even strangers praying for us and rooting for us during this time. So you know...we could not do walk this road without each and everyone of you! So thank you, we love you!
With that, let's talk pregnancy....so when I was pregnant the very first time 2 summers ago(man that seems so long ago) I look back and think how utterly clueless and naive I was about EVERYTHING pregnancy related. I mean I literally thought it was gonna be fabulous,maybe I'd feel a little queasy but nothing I couldn't deal with, I would get just a little bump but not really gain weight anywhere else I mean it would literally look like I had a basketball up my shirt, and because I was active and young I may gain weight but I was totally gonna bounce back so quickly like you'd see me a week later and wow who would have guessed I had just pooped out a child. Obviously...I was an idiot...
This pregnancy has NOT been that pleasant...like at all. Truth be told if I hear one more formerly pregnant lady(kuddos to you for birthing a child not taking that from you) tell me how they felt the best they have ever felt in their life while pregnant and that it was sooooooo great and super and fabulous...I will slap them(no offense) Trust me I feel incredibly guilty and all kinds of wrong to be complaining...I mean who does that? Especially someone who has been through what I have...but for the first 17 weeks of this shiz I have felt like complete and total crap, and I have had some really scary moments to add to my stress(more on that in a bit) Needless to say I am not the glowing picture of pregnancy...but whatevs.
So yes I have been puking my guts up. Yes, I have been so tired I can hardly focus. Yes, my acid reflux and heart burn is reminiscent of swallowing LAVA almost all day, everyday...I mean water gives me heart burn! I had a terrible bout with constipation there for a few weeks, but I came out on the winning side of that war. You name it chances are I had it or still do...On top of all the really just generally crappy pregnancy symptoms, there is the medication....lots of medication...which trust, I am super thankful for because with out said medications sweet baby Emerson may not still be growing away in my belly right now. But I promised a run down on my just what all it has taken to keep him safe so here it goes....disclaimer so of the drugs and descriptions on this list may not be suitable for young viewers...or men...they might rather not know these things.
First Trimester:
At 5 weeks I was started on a daily dose of Lovenox(essentially heparin) a blood thinner which comes in a preloaded syringe. Yay! This means each night around 9-9:30 I inject myself with a dose. To date I have taken 98 shots. Yes, they do hurt, not so much the initial stick but the actual medicine burns really, really bad for a good 15 mins after the shot. Yes, they occasionally leave bruises, sometimes really nasty blackish purple ones and they can be quite large.Along with the Lovenox I also take a daily dose of baby aspiring, 81mg. This does not suck. When I started taking Lovenox I also started to take Crinone. Crinone is a progesterone suppository...yeah this one was actually the worst for me. I had to take it twice a day, in the morning and at night, and it was messy....nuff said. The day Dr. Bell said no more, October 1st but who would remember that, was one of the best days of pregnancy for me! I do not miss you Crinone...
Because my MTHFR mutation doesn't allow my body to metabolize folic acid like a normal person, and folic acid is super important in pregnancy, I also take a low does of L-methylfolate. This also does not suck. I take a prenatal everyday as well, also does not suck.
Because I am a problem child, I also had to go weekly to check progesterone levels, which means a stick in the arm every week...not that fun but needles don't really give me pause. I also received an ultrasound much earlier than most. This is where things started to get really stressful for me. So, here I am thinking I am on this drug regimen and things would be golden, but during my first ultrasound at 7 weeks they found a hematoma. Great...not again was my thought, but they had said that it was small and no big. A few days later, the Saturday before the first day of school, I found myself in the ER GUSHING blood. I mean gushing as in more than I ever remember bleeding in less than an hours time with my two natural miscarriages. I was crushed. I thought here we go again...and I just about gave up on the thought of ever trying to get pregnant again. I was at the point of throwing in the towel for good. They sent me to ultrasound and baby still had a heartbeat, but they informed me that my gestational sack was elongated and abnormal....great...Thankfully on Monday, the FIRST DAY of school Dr. Bell was able to work me into an ultrasound where we saw that my gestational sack was not elongated or abnormal and baby looked fine. Relief, excitement, everything is now going to be golden....wrong. At 13 weeks I started bleeding then soon after gushing blood yet again at work...great...my principal was great though and let me go without a thought and straight to the doctor we went. Dr. Bell was gone but we got to hear the baby on the doppler and thankfully I had an appointment in two days, so we left feeling slightly better and bleeding tapered off. So now things are going to be great and golden....wrong this brings me into the
Second Trimester:
Around 15 weeks I started to have a weird feeling in my lady parts like a lot of pressure building when I stood, walked, coughed, etc. So again I called the doctor and they of course had me come in. The baby still had a good heartbeat. I was measuring right on track and from outside my cervix looked nice and shut. Just to be safe Dr. Bell sent me straight in for an ultrasound to check my cervical length. Well that was great, nice and long and closed as it should be, but no worries the cause of the pressure revealed itself. My nice little almost tiny hematoma had grown to a nice much larger size and was residing directly on top of my cervix....still is...I have not had any more bleeding episodes, even though they keep telling me it could happen. I have however continued to spot brownish stuff since my 13 week bleed.
So as you can see this has not been the gumdrops and roses and rainbows kind of pregnancy I had hoped for, but Emerson is proving to be true to his name and he is most definitely a brave and powerful little boy to be continuing to call my hostile uterus home. With all that complaining being said, I am still overjoyed to be pregnant even though it kinds stinks, I couldn't be happier to be this sweet little ones momma, and I wouldn't trade this entire experience for anything. It blows my mind that I will be halfway finished with this process next week and that in like 4 1/2 months we will get to meet our son. Even when it hurts and makes you sick and gives you crazy stress God is still so mind blowingly good.
P.S. It has been 3 weeks since I have called or been to the doctor for some issue that has come up.I go back next week on Thursday for my anatomy scan...which will make it a grand total of 4 weeks 2 days between visits! Take that! Just like a normal pregnant person! woot!
