The Belly of the Whale

Have you ever wondered how Jonah felt when he was swallowed up and chillin in the belly of the whale? Well, I highly doubt he was "chillin" more like despairing. Anyway, I imagine he felt a bit of frustration with himself for not being obedient in the first place, scared that he may not make it out, and desperate for God to show him mercy and come to his rescue. But that's just me.

As I was listening to my pastor teach about Jonah today, I realized that I have felt just like I imagine Jonah to have felt for those 3 long days trapped in the belly of the whale. I have felt scared and uncertain about my future, afraid that there was no light at the end of my darkness. I have felt desperate for God to not only show me mercy and come to my rescue, but for Him to just give me peace and hold me close. I have more recently felt frustration with myself for thinking that I could control my life and situation, that my plan was somehow going to work out better than the plan God has so meticulously designed for me, when of course it didn't. But as my pastor continued on he made a statement that was kind of a mind blow for me as I was having my moment with Jonah, he said that God didn't place Jonah in the belly of the whale out of wrath for his disobedience but that he placed him there out of his kindness. What?! Yeah...mind blow...so as I'm pondering this, still in my Jonah moment sitting in the belly of the giant fish and all, I have this "whoa, ah ha" moment. My whale, of course, is this struggle through miscarriage and if my pastor's statement holds true, God didn't place me in "the belly of my whale" out of anger, but out of love and kindness....hmmmmm

Chew on that for a second, I know I had to. I think this takes us back to the struggle with the idea of how can a God who loves me so much and wants things for my good and not to harm, deal out such hurt. How is that kind? I know that is a question that most of us at some point in our trials have asked or will ask, I have. I think it is a valid question. Not one that God hears and thinks how dare you question my love, rather I think he wants us to ask it so he can blow our minds by showing us his love in a way that we couldn't imagine. He has so much more waiting for us.

And oh man did God have big things in store for Jonah! I mean come on, God knew that boy was gonna high tail it in the complete opposite direction of Nineveh before he even told Jonah to go there, but he was kind when he rescued him from the sea, via whale, and delivered him to dry land again. Jonah was stirred and his fervor reignited for his God, his deliverer, and hundreds of thousands of people in Nineveh were saved as a result. God wanted to bless those people through Jonah. So maybe that is my story too. Maybe this whale that has me holed up in it's belly is a blessing for others waiting to be delivered. There is has to be so much more to my story. I know that God has a plan show me love and kindness and blessing in a way that will really blow my mind. 

So in the end all I can do is thank God for his kindness, thank God for the whale(even if it is a little stinky sometimes)

Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you. <--- Truth
                                                      Jeremiah 32:17